I love being a mom more than I ever thought I would. It is even better now that we have a bit of a routine and I can usually understand what Colin needs. With motherhood came the anticipated changes and hardships, but I have encountered many things over the last several months that I never even imagined.
For instance, hello hormones! Those first 3 or 4 months were full of crying and mood swings, and all I can say is I'm so glad I'm past that stage now.
I never considered the worry I would feel about, well, everything, but mostly concerning my child. Will he get hurt? Will he get sick? Is he sleeping okay? It never ends.
Breastfeeding is really painful at the beginning. Fair warning, skip to the next section if you have no desire to learn more about this :) Before Colin was born, I had little desire to breastfeed, but I had decided to give it at least a try because it was a cheaper option, and he would benefit from it. My plan was to do it for about a month, and during that time, pump as much as I could in order to continue giving him breast milk for a little longer than that. Well, he's 7 months old, and I'm still going strong and loving it! This didn't come without hardship the first month though. It hurt a LOT the first several weeks, once so much that I cried (and I consider myself to have high tolerance for pain). I even suffered from mastitis for several days, and my nipples cracked and bled a lot despite my frequent use of lanolin. In the end, the pain was well worth it, but it was quite a surprise for me when I started. I've read that breastfeeding isn't supposed to hurt, and if it does, you're not doing it right. I do NOT believe that.
Leaving the house takes a lot of work. I know--this is a given. But I had to come to terms with this many months ago, and in so doing, I always tell myself that I plan to leave 15 minutes earlier than I need to. This usually means that I will leave the house on time.
We are always wanting him to learn the next thing, but I need to slow down and enjoy what he's doing right now. He gets older every day, and I don't want to miss a minute of it. Not to mention, the more mobile he gets, the more trouble he can get into...
He can't walk or talk, but boy, does he have personality. Colin is extremely opinionated, and he lets me know when he's not happy. I love that at even such a young age, I can tell what sort of characteristics he will have even when he gets older.
I really wanted a cuddly baby, and for the first few months Colin was happy to oblige. Now, however, he refuses. In fact, it is almost impossible to get him to fall asleep if he is being held. Except when he was sick last week--I loved that I got to cuddle with him during his nap.
When my floors are littered with toys, I have no motivation to pick them up because they will just be pulled right back out.
If you made it to the end of this very long list, congratulations! I'm sure these things aren't all that interesting to most people, but I wanted to document a few of my feelings--especially because I got to celebrate my first Mother's Day as a mom yesterday.
I hope you all enjoyed the day as well!